Writing.....

Writing (Technically its Typing..... actuall) ..... Well Many people seems to enjoy it. Like me...?? I like it a lot...!! But the only problem is that I hardly sit down to actually write something (This -ates my first 2 lines :-( ).

But really the problem with me is different... Lazy (Am I.., ??). But its not the case
for many. So why is it that people like it a lot. Particularly in this Web 2.0 universe ?

Its the connectivity, access to information and the democratic right of web-world "freedom of expression". In early days when this internet was at its geek stage, if you want to express yourself, you have to either talk to someone (which is always the toughest thing to do) or write a book (which again you need a lot more than just thoughts) or at the least you must have the habit of writing a personal journal (for some reason it is always one of the pet secrets many had). All of these takes a lot of discipline, time and dedication to actually do it. And the major problem with this is the effort you have to put into it, like vocabulary (I sure don't wanna look like a mediocre in a "YENGLISH" world). And most of all, the target audience will mostly be the people who know exactly who you are, which scares many of us.

So what does the leverage in Web 2.0 that brought so many of us to freely share their thoughts, by actually writing it. Anonymity, Exposure, Ease of use and most of all, the target audience who only cares what you write and nothing about who (the heck) you are. At least these are the reasons why people like me are coming forward with this kinda blogs, the so called "my inside self". I don't have to worry about what will people think about me once I write something, because no-body cares (it would probably just a waste of 5 mins.) and for others its just another blog in the internet. And the effort that has to be put for this is not much, very little actually.

Expressing yourself is a good thing. But having the courage to do so is even better. So I'm trying to express what I think. You know the target audience in my case is ? Its just me.

What am I doing.....??

There is a saying, "Its not just enough to Live. There must be a reason for it."

That's true in every sense. The last blog I wrote was almost a year back. And there was hardly any point in my blogs. Why did I start this in the first place ? Why couldn't I keep up ???

These are questions I'm asking myself. Well the answers... !!! I'm still not able to find it. Here is a thing..... People will keep searching for something... always. There is a target for all of us to chase. Some gets to choose it and some don't. I think, I'm one among those former. But I simply can't choose one. Or its just right in front of me and I'm not realizing it.

Weaving around my leisure World in search of something that amuses me, and keeps me that way so that I continue to chase it. Sometimes it seems to be an inconsistent way of living life, wasting my precious TIME. Is it really that destructive ???

I can't answer. I want to choose a path and keep walking in it till its end. But I simply can't. I'm either getting bored with that path or some other cross road interests me more than mine. I can't help it. And this blogging is a perfect example for this. I started this almost 2 years back when I got interested to see what I can write. But later I found other things more interesting than blogging. I'm not bored with it....... but I keep finding something else.

What can I do.... ??? I do have collected lot of topics to blog about, but I simply can't stick my fingers in the keyboard to write about them. Well.... I will keep trying to find some time in my already crunched 24 hours to blog something. Some seemingly useless blah... blahs !!!

I am Who I am...!! Am I really such an idiot....?

Altruistic, Extrovert, Being Practical, Being Positive, A good to all personality.... Is this what I am....? Or.... A Stupid, Crazy, Idiotic, Freaking crank.... ?

I really don't know..!! I've been trying to be practical, open and outspoken.... thinking that is the best way to have a guilt free mind and more over I wont hurt someone..... But being so has always been proven wrong to me.... Embarrassing and arrogant... this is what the feedbacks of the people whom got hurt by my so called practicality.

I think I have developed myself a character which makes me the person exactly the opposite of what I intended to be.... Today an incident made me realize this idiotic way I'm handling things for myself..... I hurt someone whom I never meant to do so.... In fact I just wanted to keep something under control but ended up screwing myself up.

I have to think again the way I behave among others.... The way I handle things with people..... The way I speak... The way I express my thoughts.... The whole freaking social face of mine has to be changed....

Here In Back Again....

What am I doing here...... What keeps me coming back in here. In fact the truth is..... I always wanted to get in here and start writing something. But...... after posting some blogs.... my intention started fading away..... I wasn't really caring to spend even an hour of mine for this. Its the blogging I'm talking about......

Yes.... The urge that provoked me to start blogging...... its the same urge kept me out of it. The quest for new things once lead me here. But the same quest drove me off from spending a little time for penning my thoughts as words in this.... Is it Good....

Nope..... Theoretically, keen to learn & explore new things is good. But..... it really isn't as it may seem. It doesn't matter that you know many things..... What matters is how much you really know in the things you really have known. I do browse for hours reading articles, One day an Article about Atlantis the next day an Article about the socialization in Mars..... But all this is none if I'm not strong in what I'm.

I'm really finding it hard to keep me on track. But my mind finds its way of getting out of it.... always. Now that I have set it on track once again. I really don't know how long I will be able to hold on.....

Moment of Pride....

Ah... its just another day in my office... And as usuall I was preparing my coffee to make a fresh start....

Its been 3 weeks since I joined this office and still I feel very new here... may be because of the isolated environment of my team from the rest of office...Its a usuall Corporate Confidential thing..... Ok I will come to the point.... While I was making my coffee, there came an old man, an old american as usuall sounding loud and standing brisk.... I have seen him earlier once or twice but haven't paid attention to him... He was the guy who takes care of filling up the cafeteria with the needed items....

But today he said a "Good Morning" and I wished him back... and he continued further....

Oldie : "Ur name should not me Patel else u would look different"....
Me : "Ofcourse not. My name is Arvin"..... (Its not easy to teach these people how to spell our Indian names with proper syllable)

He was talking about a "Patel" he knew, for whom he had built a house...... (These people know lot of work) and he said one thing which at the moment made me so proud to be what I am..... "People from your country are very productive and they are an asset to the country where they are...." he continued..."There are many people who come to this country and the first thing they do is register in the Employment office... U cannot see an Indian in a low profile job..... they will be either industrialist or in high technical jobs..." He said this with from his heart and not just because for the conversation sake.....

I had no word but thanked him with a pride filled heart..... "East or West India is always the Best....."

Once again I'm very proud to be an Indian..... "Jai Hind"

New York....

A city of Sky Scrapers...... The worlds most easily recognized Sky Line.... Americas rudest city (No offese please).... Offcialy named as New York but has many more name on its own.....

Only after this trip to New York, I got satisfied of being in US.... Yes... unless u visit a city like New York, there is no use in coming to US. When the city skyline first came to my sight it was so exciting, like a dream come true..... It was like seeing a wallpaper. After entering the city walking in the busy streets of New York.... I was at the peak of excitement..... Buildings standing as if they are the pillars to hold the sky.... I had to bend my head backwards completely as far as possible to see the buildings from its foot.... And still... I cant even see the second fold of the Empire State... the standing gaint of New York. It is sad that the rivals WTC is nomore..... but still in ground zero we can feel the panic....

The best place to start the tour in New York is the Liberty Statue... which will be of a half a day ride.... It is really amazing to see one of the identity of US.... The gift of France to US as a sign for their friendship....

The next on line to see should be the Empire State building which will put u on top of New York... It makes u feel the ability of man to reach new heights.... It is an outstanding view to see the Sky Line of New York in a evening where you will be able to see both the day light and the night time view of the metro..... Its the first time I'm seeing such a view, which revealed how organised the city is..... Townplaning is one masterpiece that maintains the city on top....

Other than the regular tourist spots like USS Interpid museum, Wax Museum, Central Park.... The New York streets itself are an amazing place to walk around.... Amidst the mass of this huge metro we can meet the whole world..... Chinese, Africans, Europeans and most of all our own Indians.....

Time Square..... the place that never sleeps... With the worlds most renowned corporates and milloares lined in the street, it is an outstanding view to look at the city streets from the center of the square near the Ball Drop pole....

It is tough to explain about New York in one single posting... but to cut short I have just blogged the top on the line things.... But there are many more like Port Authority, Madison Square Garden, Rockefeller Plaza, New York Helicoptor ride, Yatch ride in Hudson, Brooklyn, Wallstreet, Nasdaq.... and many more.....

A normal weekend will not be enough to enjoy even one half of New Yorks glory....If you are planning a trip.... plan on a looong weekend....

My Sister....Forever...

Today I lost my sister...... and I'm blogin here with my heart full of grief..... "Lost is lost and cannot be gained back" atleast I have the privilege to express about her at this juncture....

Bamini...... A Clever... Charming...Smart... Beautiful... Thoughtfull...Humourous...Lively... Energetic..... gal I have ever met in in my life.... She was a gal who I always wished to be with as a brother. She told me once "U are teasing me a lot... as my brother always used to do.....". From then... I started calling her as "my dear sister".... One and only sister I ever had with the same wavelength. I have no blood companions and I wish I had a elder sister from my childhood. But I got her only in at a later part of my life still it is not that late and I was happy for that.

She was one lively and energetic person who always had a smile in her face.... Even now I remember only her smiling face. She is like me.... Who reveals her self only to person she is intimate with. Today her love has taken her to heaven.... and leaving all her memories as an ever lasting trace in me.

There are times where she had hurt me at my possesiveness.... she had teased me at my kiddish nature.... she had adviced me at of my anger..... she had helped at my tough times.... and she never let me a chance in helping her out of her problems..... I still wish I should have been there in India at this time.... Atleast I could have seen her face for one last time..... I think she always wanted to me to remember her smiling face......

My sister....
Our relation may have lasted brief....
But today I'm full of grief....
With all your memories in me.....
I'm sure U will always be there with me....
Its just the end of ur life.....
But I'm sure there is no ending for ur love.....
No one can replace U for sure....
Now that U have filled in my heart forever....

Anything excess is tough to express thru words.... And I'm feeling it now.... So far I haven't lost a loved one..... But it is really hard to digest that U are first on the list.....

Rest in peace my sister.... Will join U once my time comes for me.....